“Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” — Deuteronomy 5:16 (NIV)
There’s something deeply grounding about this command. It doesn’t shout like the thunder on Sinai. It doesn’t seem as heavy as the prohibitions against murder or theft. And yet, nestled in the middle of the Ten Commandments is this call to “honor your father and your mother” — not just as a suggestion, but as a divine command.
What’s striking is that God ties this command to blessing. He doesn’t just say “do it because I said so.” He says, do it so that your days may be long, and it may go well with you. There’s a connection here — a sacred one — between how we treat those who raised us and the kind of life we build.
Honoring our parents isn’t about blind obedience or pretending they were perfect. Many have complicated relationships with their parents. Some have deep wounds. God is not calling us to ignore those realities. But “honor” is bigger than emotion — it’s about posture. It means treating them with respect, dignity, and weight. It means valuing the role they played — even if flawed — in shaping our life. It’s a heart attitude that says, I will not treat lightly what God has called weighty.
In Hebrew, the word for “honor” here is kabed — it literally means “to give weight to.” That helps us understand what God is asking. He’s saying: Don’t take your parents lightly. Don’t dismiss them. Whether they were saints or deeply broken, they still carried the responsibility of raising you, and God saw it. He commands you to honor them — not because they were always right, but because He is.
This command is also a bridge. It connects the first part of the commandments — our relationship with God — to the second part — our relationship with others. And what is the first human relationship any of us experience? It’s the parent-child bond. If we learn to honor those who gave us life, we begin to learn how to honor God, how to honor others, and how to live a life shaped by gratitude and humility.
And the promise tied to this command isn’t some magical reward — it’s a reflection of how God designed the world to work. A society that honors its elders tends to be more stable. A person who honors their parents usually carries a softer, more teachable heart. When we follow this command, things go better — not because of superstition, but because we are walking in harmony with God’s wisdom.
If you’re struggling with this verse — maybe because of a broken relationship, or an absent parent — bring that to God. Honoring doesn’t mean approving of sin or pretending pain didn’t happen. But there are still ways to live with a posture of grace, forgiveness, and dignity. You might start with prayer. Or with a simple act of kindness. Or just refusing to speak bitterly. That, too, can be a form of honor.
Conclusion
God’s command to honor our parents isn’t about the past — it’s about the kind of people we’re becoming. It teaches us humility, gratitude, and how to carry the weight of love. When we walk this path, we don’t just bless our parents — we become people who are easier to bless.
Lord, shape our hearts to honor well. Heal our wounds where they exist. Teach us to walk in grace, humility, and respect — even when it’s hard. Let our homes and hearts reflect the honor You are worthy of. Amen.
